Sorry black people.... U know i love ya but...

I have a bone to pick with black people.

*Note to non-black friends of Scooby... this post is going to make you uncomfortable. Be forewarned.*

First off, I love being a black man. I learned from the best. My father, Dr. Wendell A. Howlett Sr., was the singular influence on my manhood/cultural identity and I am still drawing on his vivid examples in my third decade. He was/is an educator/activist/author/anarchist reared in the turbulent sixties and Jim Crow Virginia. My daddy has a doctorate degree in African American Studies and to this day, concerns himself fully with the modern struggles of black people in many different countries. As a child, I was not entertained with vapid stories of Pinocchio and Pecos Bill but rather Emmett Till and Nat Turner. I recall sitting on the toilet growing up and not reading Jet magazine or Essence but rather the words of Nelson Mandela which sat proudly over our family's commode... "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." Yeah, it was SERIOUS up in the Howlett household.

Needless to say, I went off into the world with a very healthy sense of identity. ALWAYS A MAN. ALWAYS BEAUTIFULLY BLACK. Naively, I thought everyone was blessed with the gifts my daddy secretly slipped me.

So, when I was of age to understand and confront my sexuality (I am indeed a gay man if that is still unclear to some readers), it NEVER occurred to me that I would need to be ashamed or hang my head. Hide? Beautiful black men don't do shame. That's what daddy said. So, I kicked the closet door open and stepped fully into my singularness and authenticity and have yet to apologize to a soul for being me. Again, I got it from my daddy.

Black+Gay+ Man= Proud. This was always my equation. So you can only imagine my utter disgust at the current situation facing our black community. How can we expect our young boys to be men, proud men, proud beautiful men, if we promote dishonesty and shame? Ask them to bow their heads woefully and operate in clandestine secrecy when it comes to their sexual preference?

Why are there so many gay black men who refuse to come out of the closet and prefer the wretched down low lifestyle? Yes, I am talking to you. Why are there so many black churches who refuse to acknowledge their OBVIOUSLY gay congregates? Yes, I am talking to you. Why are there so many black families who ignore the large, pink, bedazzled elephant sitting in the room? IM TALKING DIRECTLY TO YOU! Your willful dishonesty is directly responsible for the killing of our young people. YOU ARE CULPABLE! The level of delusion on your part is truly reprehensible. "Be black and proud... as long as you aint a faggot!"?????????

Being gay is not a choice people. It is a state of being. Its WHAT you are not who you are with. So, if a young man is having these urgings and feelings.... Sorry, but YOU can't stop the beat. As Wendy Williams would say, "It is what it is." Our community is utterly unsupportive of its gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender members. Why is this? Are black people really so myopic that we can't recognize another disenfranchised group? Is this a case of the victim becoming the victimizer? We are too flossy and fabulous as a people to propagate this type of short-sighted, unfair idiocy! If we don't wake up and smell the proverbial coffee, we will continue to see gains in HIV infections, suicides, and depression amongst our young people.

I am not asking that everyone agree with a homosexual lifestyle. One step at a time. What I am asking for is a level of temperance, understanding and honesty in our communities. Just because you don't talk about something doesn't make it a figment of your imagination. We have to work to re-define the definition of manhood in our black lexicon. It has been maimed and our young men are lost. Anchorless.

My dad's early example saved me from this strange issue. Thank God. Thank Daddy. But I'm not quite as naive as I used to be. I understand that I was lucky. Charmed. For the multitudes, support and insulation are foreign ideas. That makes me sad. I love being me and wish others could feel what I am blessed to feel. But alas, I got it from my daddy. And he only gave it once.

As always, cover and flank me with your prayers and be assured, I am doing the same for you...

Scooby